Xander's Little Confrontation
by Kimberly Warner
Summary: Xander gets fed up with Angel and decides to give him a piece of his mind. Short and funny-- no seriousness intended. Set in Season 2 of BtVS.


Disclaimer: None of the character's below belong to me. Buffy, Angel and the rest are all creations of Joss Whedon, etc., etc., and no copyright infringement is intended.

R&R is appreciated. 

Notes: This is set in the second season of BtVS and, quite honestly, is just something silly I wrote. Believe me, it's not meant to be serious in the least. Enjoy it for what it is, don't hate it for what it isn't :)

Xander's Little Confrontation

by Kimberly Warner

It was late Saturday night, but at the library in Sunnydale High no one was sleeping. 

Buffy and 'the gang' were busy doing research on a recent series of deaths that had been happening on several farms located on the very remote outskirts of Sunnydale. Very, very remote. 

Apparently over a dozen billy goats had been found dead over the past two weeks; shriveled and sucked dry like a week old grapefruit. Cordelia was quick to assume vampires did it, because hey, it's always easy to blame the undead. Soon though, Willow disproved this idea. 

"It can't be vampires..." She said absently as she flipped through a rather ancient looking book. 

Cordy frowed. "Well, why not?" She thought her idea was a really good one, even though she personally tended to want to accuse vampires for every evil thing that happened in Sunnydale. 

Willow took a deep breath and forced herself not to look annoyed as she put on her best perky-Willow-smile. "Because--" 

"Because what vampire in their right mind would suck goats?!" Xander broke in before Willow could finish. "Duh!" 

This little outburst shut Cordy up quickly and she sat there looking at Xander, an indignant look spreading across her face. Willow on the other hand was smiling at him very appreciatively. 

"Thank you Xander, that was one reason I was going to say." Xander was grinning from ear to ear. 

"The other reason I was going to mention was," she held up some pictures of the goats in question, "that the bite marks don't look like a vampire's. They look more like...like leeches, or something...leech-like." 

At that moment Buffy and Giles walked in, followed by Angel, who was wearing a fairly confused look on his face. Buffy flopped down in a chair next to Willow with an exasperated sigh. 

"This is getting too frustrating." she announced. "I smell like dead goats and other icky things I would rather not smell like, and I have about as much idea of what is killing these goats as I have about what I'm going to be wearing three weeks from next Tuesday!" 

"Now, now Buffy, don't get discouraged." Giles chimed in. "There's a solution to this problem, and we'll find it. All it takes is a lot of good research." 

"But all those cute, innocent little goats are dying and all we can do is research?!?" Buffy was horrified. 

Giles just gave her a wilted smile which was a poor apology for the lives of those poor goats that were being snuffed out while they sat around doing research. Pouting, Buffy sat up in her chair, grabbed a book and opened it up to any random page. 

"Fine then, I'll do research." No one mentioned it to her that the book she picked up was the textbook for German 2 and probably had jack squat information in it about things that suck goats. 

Four hours later the group still knew nothing and was twice as tired as they were before. Cordelia was sleeping in a chair, her four-inch designer heels propped up on the table and a dusty old book draped across her lap. Periodically her face would scrunch up in a worried look; she was having a nightmare about the new shade of lipstick she had bought earlier this week. Across the table Xander lay slumped and snoozing against Willow, who was still reading diligently through an endless stack of books. 

Buffy had long ago abandoned the German book and was now flipping through a book titled Wicked, Evil Demons and How To Slay Them. Every once in a while she would begin humming under her breath. Buffy was not a happy camper. She looked at Giles with a frown. 

"Ok. Well, do you have any new ideas?" She looked across at all the others who were not sleeping. "Does anyone?" She didn't want to sound rude, but she hadn't slept any since the Friday before and things weren't looking too good. 

Giles and Willow shook their heads together and Buffy looked to Angel. She noticed he was engrossed in reading something so decided against bothering him. Of course, looking at Angel always made Buffy feel better no matter how bad a day she was having so she let it slide that he probably didn't know any more than the rest of them. She looked back down at the apparently useless book she was studying. Then, Angel spoke up. 

"You know," he said blinking slowly, "this reminds me of an X-Files episode I once saw." 

Everyone's heads whipped up and looked at him, even Xander and Cordelia who had been deep asleep. They all stared at him dumbfounded. All of them thinking the same thing: Angel, the vampire, watches the X-Files? The thought was so stunning that for a moment everyone forgot the problem at hand. 

"Say what?" Buffy blinked. 

Angel paused. "I said, this whole goat sucking thing reminds me of an episode of the X-Files that I once saw." He realized they were looking at him strangely. "What? Can't a person who is over 200 years old enjoy a hit modern television show?" Under his usual look of confusion, Angel looked rather insulted and he started to defend himself. "The X-Files happens to be a very well written and well directed show. Not to mention the fact that Agent Scully is a rather attractive lady..." 

"Ahem!" Buffy interrupted. She gave him The Look and then smiled sweetly. "What was it that reminded you of this whole goat business?" 

Everyone leaned in and looked at Angel expectantly. This had to be good. 

"There was this one episode," he eyed them all defensively, "and it involved El Chupacabra--" 

Giles practically jumped out of his skin, which startled everyone because it was extremely weird for the usually self composed Watcher and librarian to lose his cool. 

"Of course!" he yelled. "Why didn't I think of it? El Chupacabra, a Mexican goat sucker...a bloody Mexican goat sucker!" This was almost as odd as Angel's revelation abut his television preferences. 

"That's what's been killing these goats?" Cordy asked. And she thought that internet demon, what's-his-name, was bad. 

Giles nodded with enthusiasm. "It has to be, all the signs point to it. I just can't believe it never crossed my mind before now." Giles had an urge to give Angel a big buddy buddy hug. He didn't. Thank goodness for self control. 

Xander was muttering something under his breath about what kinda of sick sadistic creature the Chupacabra must be to actually kill cute little goats. Whatever it was, it was bad, so in his mind he promised himself he would not go with Buffy when she went to slay this thing. He glanced about the library thinking how much safer it must be compared to the lair of this infamous Mexican goat sucker. As he looked around his eyes fell on Angel. _Grr, I really don't like that guy, _he thought to himself. 

Buffy hopped up from her chair. "Well let's go! We have to find this thing before it harms any more goats!" 

Immediately everyone jumped to attention, grabbing their mini arsenal of weapons and such. Giles went and quickly searched for his book that was exclusively for El Chupacabra. He found it in a dark and musty corner of the library. No wonder they hadn't run across the goat suckers in any of the books they were reading; Mexican goat suckers are not among the most popular demons to be nowadays. No one knew why, they just weren't. 

Taking his book, Giles went back to join the group. Xander told them all he would stay in the library. To be back-up, he'd said. Not that anyone actually knew where to find the Chupacabra just yet, but they would eventually. 

As they all headed out of the library, Xander stayed seated at the table. He looked at his limited edition light up Goofy watch. "Wee-haw...I can still catch a little sleep before I have to be 'back-up'." He said quietly to himself as he laid his head down on the table. 

But, just when he had started to relax, Angel ran back into the library. "Sorry!" He said to a bit startled looking Xander. "I forgot my jacket.." 

Xander stared at him as he walked to the table and picked up his jacket. After he grabbed it, Angel turned around and started to leave. "Bye." He said over his shoulder. 

And then, Xander stopped him. "Hey wait a minute, come back here for a second...I need to talk to you." He looked like he had just had a revelation. 

"Hmmmm?" Angel walked back over, looking like he was missing something big time.

Xander stood up and walked over to Angel, looking him in the eye. "That's just it!" Xander said. 

Angel was lost. "Huh?" Oh the confusion. 

"Why I just don't like you Angel..." He was on a roll now and not even Cordelia would have been able to shut him up. 

"I don't like you because you always just look so flipping confused all the time! No matter what it is, you look like a lost puppy who has been kicked. It's like, hello?! What is it with you? Do you have to be Mr. Depressed Of The Year all the time?" He stopped to take a breath. 

"Look Angel, is it genetic or what? And I'm sorry if you CAN'T help it, but that is the #1 quality that irks me about you and...and...oh stop looking at me like that! GEEZ!!" 

Angel looked like he hadn't heard a word Xander said. He stared at him, his head cocked slightly to the side, and for a split second Xander thought Angel was going to cry. Instead he ran a hand through his hair and looked at Xander as if in fact it was he who was the confused one. "Huh?" Angel said, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

Xander threw his arms up into the air. "I don't care! I give up!" And with that he stormed out of the library. 

Blinking his eyes slowly Angel stared after him. "Well..." he muttered to himself, "I guess people these days just don't know what they're talking about." 

Angel put on the jacket he had been holding that whole time and turned to leave the way Xander had gone. He paused a moment at the door and looked thoughtful for a moment, like he was trying to figure something out. But he just shook his ruffled head and kept walking. 

"And he called me confused..." Angel laughed.

The End 


End file.
